Under that Tennessee Sky
by baeberry
Summary: "He doesn't even know how it happened, he doesn't know her and he doesn't even know if he'll ever see again and he doesn't even know how she feels for him. but he does know that he's falling fast." a late christmas-y story. hope you take a look.
1. one

**a/n. hi and thankyou for checking this out. **

**this is my first O.C. story and one of my first third person story. so I hope I did well. **

**summary: The boys were coming home from a five month tour and get stuck in Tennessee over Christmas break. **

**Kendall learns that you just have to be thankful for what you have no matter what and he meets someone who helps him realize that.**

**so I hope you like it. it's a bit fluffy and Christmas-y (which I know was a week ago) but this idea just came to me. sorry for any errors I made, I tried to make sure that there were none. **

**rated T for cussing and then next chapter.**

**and this is a two-shot and I will be posting the second part tomorrow. :)**

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><p><em><strong>Under That Tennessee Sky<strong>_

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><p>He wasn't really sure how this happened, he bought the tickets for the four of them, James and Carlos packed everything and loaded it into the rental car and Logan made sure that they left their hotel in and made it to the airport an hour and a half early, effectively allowing them to make an earlier flight.<p>

And now twenty two year old Kendall Knight and his three best friends/band mates are stuck at Nashville International, because nature decided to piss him of and snow like nobody's business and shut down St. Paul International which means no flights in or out.

So no Minnesota. No ice skating at the old rink. No Katie. No mom. And no family Christmas for Kendall.

Kendall, James, Carlos and Logan have all been on tour for the last five months and haven't been able to see their family. So to say that they aren't all pissed off that they can't be home would be an understatement.

"Ok so St. Paul is completely shut down." There was a collective groan from the three remaining boys as Logan told relayed the news.

"Maybe we can get a flight back to L.A. Kelly said that she would be willing to have us over."

"Not gonna happen, flights here are being grounded. The snow is coming in to fast and thick."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." The already ticked off blond shouted, earning glares from other passengers, furthermore pissing him off.

"**WHAT! You've never seen someone angry before, well it's about to get a lot more fu––"**

"**Kendall. Enough."** Logan shouted. He had had it with Kendall. He wasn't the only one who was going to be without his family this year.

"Sorry. I just want to get home and see my family. I haven't spent more than a day with them in over five months. None of us have."

"I know Kendall and it sucks, but for now we're just gonna deal."

"Arg." The blond through his head back and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Are you a pirate now?" All Carlos was trying to do was lighten the mood. They were all stressed and frustrated and upset, they've spent the last six months on a bus and everywhere except home and then the two months before that was busy getting ready for said tour.

"I swear to god Carlos I will melt your helmet when we get home." He instantly regretted snapping when Carlos' face dropped and he moved four seats away from Kendall.

He groaned and threw his head back, he hadn't meant to be so harsh, seriously he's been working on his anger, but lately it's just been too much, with all the touring and concerts and his mom and sister moving back to Minnesota and now this. It was all too damn much.

He was about to go and apologize to Carlos when all of a sudden there was a hand on his arm and he was being dragged away from where they were sitting.

He looked up at an angry Logan who ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath.

"Look I know it's tough right now, our schedules have been crazy, us moving out on our own, whatever is going on with you and Jo and I also know that this time of year isn't good for you. But we're all having a hard time and like I just said for now we just have to deal with it."

"I know, it's just sometimes all too much and I don't even know what's going on with my own sister anymore, cause I'm never here and I feel like I can't breathe or anything…" Logan put a soothing and on Kendall's shoulder and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Kendall why haven't you talked to us?"

"I don't know. I didn't want to bother you guys…"

"You can come and talk to either one of us. We're a family."

"I know."

"Are you still not sleeping?"

"No I'm not" Even though Logan couldn't see his face he could tell how down Kendall was.

"What about the sleeping pills?"

"No I'm not taking those."

"Kendall…"

"No Logan. I'm not taking the risk. I'm not going to turn out like him." Logan knew Kendall was sensitive about his dad so he decided not to push.

They pulled apart but Logan still kept a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I'm not gonna push but after the New Year and we get back to L.A. I think you should go back to the doctor, you can't keep going on like this, you're gonna drive yourself crazy." Kendall let out a long held in laugh and shook his head.

"Fine but let's get back. I need to apologize."

"Yea you do. Come on."

With that the two boys walked over to their friends where Kendall apologized for his recent behavior and promised to calm down. Carlos being always the affectionate one pulled Kendall into a big hug, which James and Logan soon joined.

"Ok so how about we find somewhere to eat and then we'll find a place to stay." Carlos said after they all pulled apart.

"Alright, let's get a cab; I saw a flyer for a little diner downtown." They all okayed Kendall's plan and grabbed their things and made their way out to a cab.

On the way to the little diner the four boys called their family, letting them know that they were in fact not going to make it home for the holidays. The sadness and disappointment in their respective parent's voices only brought their mood down more.

"This has officially been the worst Christmas ever." Carlos groaned while waiting for the ride to be over, as the snow started to come down faster and heavier.

"Hey it can only get better." James said, to which Kendall rolled his eyes at.

"We're here. Let's just have a good time, relax and focus on something other than not being able to go home." The other three agreed with Logan, all determined not to let something that can't be controlled ruin their time off.

The cab finally came to a stop and the four grabbed their bags from the back of the cab, paid and quickly made their way out of the heavy sleet and into the little diner named 'Della's'.

They walked into the diner surprisingly busy for four o'clock on Christmas Eve, welcomed and seated by an elderly women, who they were guessing was Della.

Once they were settled and waiting for their orders Carlos brought their plans for somewhere to stay.

"So where do you think we're gonna stay?"

"I saw a few hotels on our way here, so probably one of those." James answered.

"Yea it's not a small town, there's bound to be someplace. So after we eat we'll go do that." James and Carlos agreed to Logan's plan and went back to food. Logan turned to Kendall who seemed to be staring off.

Logan tried to get the blond attention only to be ignored, finally it was James who got him to come out of la-la land by chucking a roll at him, which smacked him right on his cheek.

Kendall was shaken from his thoughts and looked down at what just assaulted his face and then to Carlos and James who were trying very hard to keep their laugher in but failing miserable while Logan just shook his head.

"Is there any particular reason a roll just came flying at my face?" He asked, his voice dripping with annoyance but a hint of amusement was detectable.

"Logan tried to get your attention but you were lost in your own world."

"So roll throwing was your best option?"

"Yep" James answered with a smug grin.

"Ok then" Kendall smiled and realized that even though he won't be home he was still with family.

"What's up, Logan?"

"Well I said that after this we should go find a hotel."

"Sounds good" All three agreed and went back to their burgers as Kendall messed with his and went back to staring intently (hopefully not as creepy as he thinks it is) at a waitress who seems to be arguing with herself and repeatedly looking him and then blushing and smiling every time bottle green eyes would catch her own turquoise ones.

As the girl fluttered around the diner and Logan, James and Carlos continued on with their dinner and conversation as Kendall took in everything that was the waitress.

The way her caramel brown hair sat just below her chin, her side swept bangs making her turquoise eyes shine.

How her white sparkle behind her small, soft looking pink lips.

The way she seemed to know every single person and would be just as friendly to each one of them.

The way she interacted with the kids laughing at their jokes, giving them little kisses and "flirted" with all the elderly men.

He seemed to notice everything about this girl.

Especially the way beige sweater stopped a little over her belly button, allowing her soft tan skin to show.

Her tight jeans riding low on her hourglass shaped hips, letting a tattoo peak out.

He wanted to know everything about her; what her tattoo meant, where the scar on her stomach came from, what she does in her spare time, he even wants to know what he favorite color is.

He's enamored by her.

Kendall was shaken out of his reverie, this time by Carlos who gently tapped his arm.

"Yea?"

"Are you ready?"

"Oh yea let's just pay and then we can fine the hotel." Just as he said that the bubbly waitress came over, her old worn out boots making a rhythm with each step she took.

"How was your dinner?" She flashed a vivid smile and slid the check to the middle of the table and placed her hands on her hips.

"It was great." James answered for the group as he to smiled his own dazzling smile. Kendall sent a glare to James, telling him to back off, which surprisingly he did.

"Awesome, when you guys are done just come up to the counter and ask for Tilly" She waited for their responses, smiled and then turned on her heel and started to turn away but quickly turned back, after what seemed like an argument with herself.

"Ok so I wasn't eavesdropping but I did over hear you conversation."

"That's the same thing."Logan stated.

"No it's not. I wasn't purposely listening to your conversation; I just caught a few things here and there."

"Ok so…"

"Well it's almost six o'clock on Christmas Eve, you're not gonna find a place to stay tonight. Hell you probably won't find a place until the twenty seventh, twenty eight most likely, it is so packed."

"Well what do you suggest?"

"Well Della, the women who owns this place, has an apartment over the diner and you could stay there, but the heat won't work and I don't think I'll be able to get the water on up there until the twenty sixth. But if it's only for a day or so it should be fine. It does have a fire place. Where are y'all headed?"

"Minnesota."

"Oh" Tilly grimaced, that's why she always hated snow, and it just seemed to destroy everything.

"Yep it's supposed to be the blizzard of the year."

"Well then the apartment won't work, but I do have another suggestion" She bit her lip, she's never been one to get nervous, but she's standing in front of a band who's posters fill her room.

"What is it?" Logan asked, he had an awkward feeling about what the pretty girl was about to say.

"Well you can stay at my place." The boys shared a look. Not too sure if trusting someone that they just met was a good idea.

"Look I know who y'all are and I'm not a crazy fan-girl. You guys need a place to stay and I have one." She stated, hoping that she was reassuring them.

"We don't want to impose." It is the truth, also they were a little nervous, well Logan was, Carlos didn't really mind, he took one look at the girl and knew he could trust her, James just wanted to stay somewhere that wasn't a cold waterless apartment above a restaurant and Kendall was all on board with staying there, if it meant him getting to talk to and know the alluring girl he was all for it.

"You won't be, trust me. My family will be their but they won't mind. I'm pretty sure my mother thrives on entertaining people. I love it too, I get that from her." Something like hurt, pain and sadness flashed across her face and then her bright smile came back.

That's another thing he wants to know; what is her family like, were they close to her like his was to him, does she have any siblings, what was her childhood like?

"It's Christmas Eve; you should spend it with your family?"

"They won't mind. All we're doing is takeout and Christmas movies it's a family tradition. But the more the merrier"

"I don't know"

"How about I let you guys finish up here and think about it and then you can just let me know when go to pay."

"Sounds good"

"Alright" She turned on her heel and made her way to the back.

As soon as she was gone Kendall turned back to his friends with a look that said his mind was made up and this was happening.

Logan saw the all too familiar look and the anxious feeling that relaxed a little when he thought that no one would go with this crazy and possibly dangerous idea came back at full force.

"Kendall no. I know what you're thinking and it could be a really bad idea. What if she's a mass murder? Or a stalker…"

"Logan stop"

"I can't. She could be crazy…"

"Well she's not"

"And how do you know"

"I looked in her eyes" Logan just rolled his eyes, he never understood how Carlos can trust someone or not by just looking in their eyes.

"That's not valid"

"Yes it is"

"Oh like that one time"

"She was trust worthy at first. It wasn't my fault." Carlos yelled as he defended himself. Honestly it wasn't his fault.

Logan was about to respond when Kendall cut in.

"Logan I think it will be fine. No you know what I know it will be fine."

"Yea and it's better than nothing."

"James you just want to get in the girls pants." James looked at Logan like he was crazy and Kendall saw red. James better not try anything or shit will go down.

"I'm not gonna do anything, I promised Lu…" His eyes went wide as he realized what he almost let spilled, it's not that he was ashamed of his relationship or lack thereof one and it wasn't that he was still scared of her, well he was, but it's that he has something with Lucy that he's never had with any other girl. And he doesn't want to ruin his chances with her.

"Why did you promise Lucy you wouldn't do anything?" Carlos asked he kind of had a feeling that there was more going on than just being in the friend zone, even after five years, but he wasn't mad he got over Lucy a long time ago.

"I don't really want to talk about it right now, let's get back to figuring out where we're staying. I'm all for staying with Bae she seems nice enough." Logan groaned, Carlos chuckled and Kendall just smirked.

"Look it'll be fine just chill out. And I will take full responsibility if she does turn out to be mass murderer."

"Kendall" Logan whined, he still wasn't sure about this.

"Logan." Kendall mocked.

"We don't even know her last name and what kind of name is Tilly? It's just strange."

James, Kendall and Carlos all looked at him like he lost his mind.

"You're overreacting. And Tilly is not a strange name Hortense." Tilly

Carlos and James snickered which turned into full out laugher as Logan shot them a glare, while Kendall smirked and got up to walk over to the register.

"Hi"

"Hey, so we decided that we will take you up on your offer."

"Awesome, just let me finish up here and then will go. It's a bit of ride, just under an hour if I can take I-24." Kendall's pretty sure that he has never seen a more perfect sight then he did when Bae's eye lit up, it's sight that he was pretty sure that he wouldn't mind seeing on a consent basis. But then he quickly brought back to what Logan said, they don't really know this girl. But he has a feeling that it will all be ok.

"Alright well we'll just wait at our table."

"Ok. Oh and here take some pie. It's a chocolate peanut butter pie."

"It looks really good, did you make it?"

"Yea I did. Let me know how you like it."

"I will" He smiled his dimpled smile and began to walk way. He turned back towards Bae and leaned over the counter.

"Oh hey, what's your full name?" He smirked at her surprised expression and boldly placed his hand on her arm.

"Tilly Arlington" She replied, but returned a smirk of her own as she moved her hand to his and gave the large and a quick squeeze.

"Interesting name. I like it."

"Thanks." He smirked again as a light blush crawled over her face. He chuckled and turned back to his friends.

Maybe this holiday won't be so bad after all.

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><p>While waiting for Tilly to finish up, they not only managed to eat the entire large pie but managed to calm down Logan, who finally agreed that she might not be a according to him 'a crazed maniac who might kill them all.'<p>

The place was cleared out and the owner and an older guy were cleaning up when Tilly came up, dressed in leather jacket and bag in tow.

"Y'all ready to go?" She came to a stop, standing next to Kendall and Carlos.

"Yea and I just wanted to introduce the guys; James, Carlos and Logan" Kendall pointed to each of them respectively and Tilly took each hand that was placed in front of her and shook it gently except Logan who she just ignored but walked and stopped just feet in front of him.

"I just wanted to let you know that voices carry in this diner. I heard everything you just said. I'm opening up my home for you and your being very rude. I don't have to but I am because that's just me. And even if James wanted to get in my pants I am not easy so don't assume things. And also you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them." With that she turned around shouted out a goodbye and began walking out the diner.

"I like her." James chuckled, earning a hard smack from Logan who was shocked and proud that someone wasn't intimidated with what he does for a living.

They grabbed their bags and followed her out the door, wrapping their coats around them tighter when the cold air and freezing rain came down on them.

"Holy shit it is cold."

"I thought we were in Nashville, its freaking cold."

"Stop being babies. It's not even cold and this only happens once in a while here. So stop being babies." Tilly rolled her eyes, knowing that all four boys are from Minnesota, she thinks that they shouldn't really be complaining. They just ignored her.

"Well at least we're gonna get our white Christmas Kendall."

"Hell yes."

"For the love of God get in the car, my ass is freezing here. And we are on a schedule and I need to get to the store. So please get your Minnesota born asses in my car. Please." She shouted.

Smiling and laughing Kendall, James and Carlos got into the FJ Cruiser, as Logan pulled aside Tilly.

"I'm sorry. You were right I shouldn't just make assumptions. But Kendall sometimes just jumps into things without thinking and we don't have a way home or place to stay and he's always been the leader so it's like if he doesn't take care of us he failed."

"It's ok really and I know you can't always trust everyone you meet. But sometimes you just have to trust people. Like I'm pretty sure that if Kendall or the other two boys didn't trust me, you would be looking for somewhere else to stay."

"Yea your right, I just get nervous sometimes, they're my family and I don't want them to get hurt." Tilly smiled; she understood family and Logan's concern. If some stranger had offered her and her family to stay with them she too would be concerned.

"It's only a few days at the most and I promise nothing will happen." Logan gave her a warm smile which she immediately returned with a hug, after he opened her door he took himself to the back scooting in next Carlos, feeling better about this whole trip.

"Let's get this show on the road."

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><p><strong>review? please.<strong>

**b.**


	2. two

**a/n. so I am so sorry I know I said I would have this out yesterday but life got in the way. so once again I'm sorry.**

**and I lied this is now going to be a three shot instead of a two shot and I'm not promising anything but I am going to try and put the last chapter out by tomorrow night at the latest. **

**hope y'all like it and sorry for any mistakes I may have made.**

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><p>After they were done at the store and picked up the dinner, they were making their way down I-24.<p>

"Slow down, women. We're not on the speedway." James was little terrified, living with Carlos had taught him to be not afraid and adventurous but this girl has to be going at least fifteen over the speed limit and to make matters worse it was sleeting like no one's business.

"Shut up James she's not even going that fast." Carlos was absolutely enjoying this.

"Of course you would think that, you go this fast all the time."

"James relax I do this all the time and I'm only going fifty"

"Only. What's the speed limit?" Tilly took a sharp right turn, making James cling on to the over head handle, chanting 'oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.'

"Fifty-five. So I'm going under just to be safe." For some reason, Tilly, Kendall, Logan and Carlos all though James' antics were beyond hilarious.

"This isn't safe or funny you jerks."

A booming horn in the distance sounded and crossing signs went down as lights flashed warning drivers of the oncoming train. Even though Tilly probably had enough time to cross the track she slammed on her breaks and came to a screeching halt, reprimanding herself for taking the left turn instead of the right, she held on to the wheel for dear life as she checked left and right for any cars coming.

Tilly has never liked this track, even though she loved trains and didn't have a problem with any other tracks in town this particular track was not her favorite.

The four boys recovered quickly after being thrown into the seats/glove department in front of them. Not knowing what to do they sat there quietly watching both the train pass by and Tilly who seemed like she was having a miniature panic attack.

The last car passed and they sat there a little while longer until Kendall laid his hand on her arm, pulling her from her thoughts.

"What?"

"The train is gone."

"Oh" By now James and Carlos and Logan we paying attention to Kendall and Tilly whose color was coming back and breathing had slowed down.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yea don't worry about it." She shifted into gear and took off before anyone could say a thing.

Kendall made a mental note to ask Tilly why she froze up.

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><p>The radio playing softly and the pitter patter of the sleet outside were the only sounds in the car as they pulled up to an old large blue Victorian, which was decked out for Christmas.<p>

The inside was just as decorated and taken care of, they walked into the foyer and up a flight of stairs and into a massive living room.

Kendall noted the all the pictures adoring the walls, most of which contained the same five boys, who didn't really looking anything like Tilly and Kendall hoped that they were either cousins or friends and none of them were romantically involved with her, and then there were also the same older man and women who he assumed were her parents.

"Ok so y'all just follow me and I'll show you to your rooms." They all followed her down a little stairway and came to a stop in a hallway lined with six doors.

"Ok so there's the bathroom and the linen closet with extra soap, towels, toothpaste, and toothbrushes, you know all that good stuff." She pointed everything out and then was about to start showing rooms when she remembered that she was one room short.

"Um one of you guys are gonna have to share or take the couch. I don't have enough rooms." She really hated having to put someone out but she couldn't let anyone in that room.

"What about that room" James pointed to the door that Tilly was practically guarding with her small frame.

"Um…" Tilly tightly clasped onto the old door handle that once belonged to her parents, with an iron grip as she tried to find the words to say.

Kendall saw her discomfort and sensed another oncoming panic attack and quickly stepped in.

"Hey you know what, I'll take that couch. It won't be a problem."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea I'll be fine."

"Ok thanks. Um make yourselves at home; the den is down the stairs and to the left, watch whatever, there's food in the fridge, drinks in the pantry. I'll be right back, my family is supposed to be here soon but I'll be back by then."

With that she ran up another flight of stairs and out of sight, leaving the four boys stumped once again.

"What do you think that was about?"

"I have no clue. Let's just give her some time. Right now let's get settled in."

They did as Kendall suggested, James took the room closest to the bathroom and then Logan and Carlos took the two bedrooms across from him and Kendall threw his things into James' room.

After they all got situated they went down to the den, made phone calls letting their anxious mother's know that they were safe and then they settled down to watch tv. as they waited for Tilly.

After long Kendall got board and decided to go make sure Tilly was ok.

"I'm gonna go find Tilly, see if she's ok."

"Don't be a snoop Kendall."

"Yes mother" Kendall dodged the pillow Logan threw and made his way up the stairs only to run into Tilly. Her eyes were red and puffy and her face was all splotchy.

"You ok?" Kendall really wanted to wrap his arms around her and just listen as she told him what's up and figure out a way to solve all her problems.

"Yea I'm fine" She smiled warmly and walked pass him and down the stairs, leaving Kendall wishing that she would just open up to him. He followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen where Tilly was already getting started on the dinner.

"Did you take those pictures?"

"Yea I did."

"They're really good. You could a be professional"

"Thanks. And I am, I work at a little studio here in Clarksville and I also teach it at the high school."

"So you work at a studio, a high school and the diner."

"Well I only work at the diner on occasion like tonight and I'm also the cheer coach and sometimes I'll work at the ice rink."

"Wow do you ever sleep?"

"Ok Mr. Tour all the time." They both laughed, which died down to a nice, non-awkward, silence.

"Need help?"

"Yea can you start the oven; I need to reheat all this food."

"Sure" He turned the knobs on staring at the oven in confusion when it wouldn't start.

"Your oven is broken" Tilly only responded with laugher as she grabbed a lighter and walked over to him.

"It has a pilot light"

"I know." He defended while grabbing the lighter and starting the oven.

"So can I ask you something?" Kendall asked.

Tilly was all ready to respond with a snarky comment but having a feeling that she already knew his question she replied with a "yea" instead.

"Why did you freeze up at the railroad?" Tilly decided that she could lie and say that she got caught up in something, since she would probably never see Kendall or any of the other guys after this week again, but then she thought about how he kept looking at her and she knew that something was different with him and then it was like her heart opened up and all she wanted to do was spill her soul to this boy that she just met. And then she got scared and quickly changed the subject.

"If you weren't doing BTR what would you be doing?"

"Nice way to avoid the question." She just shrugged her shoulders and slipped the food into the oven.

"Can we just not talk about it?"

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?" Sensing her discomfort, Kendall decided to just let it go, but making a note to ask later.

"Seriously what would you be doing?"

"Hockey"

"Really?" Tilly asked, smiling, excited that they have a shared interest.

"Yea. It is, was my dream."

"Was? What's stopping you?"

"Well I'm not giving up the band, I love it too much."

"Y'all are awesome. But what else? It can't just be that."

"I have this fear that I'm not good enough."

"I have a little confession"

"Oh" She shook her head yea and took a sip from her drink.

"Well go on."

"When you guys were first making it big, I wanted to know everything about y'all, and I found some footage from your games and Kendall you were amazing. I don't think you should be afraid of that."

"Yea you could be right, but what if I'm too old?"

"I am right and are you kidding me? Wayne Gretzky was thirty eight when he stopped playing. I don't think you have anything to worry about." Kendall's jaw dropped, he has never met a girl as perfect then Tilly.

"I have five older brothers whose whole lives are hockey."

"So you're a fan too?"

"Yep the Predators are my team" Kendall grimaced; he'll always stay true to The Wild. Tilly saw this and threw a dish towel at him, which he quickly dodged.

"Don't grimace they're a great team."

"Maybe but…" All of a sudden there was a crash and three not so manly screams coming from the living room.

"MATILDA CLEMENTINE." Said girl eyes went wide as a loud booming voice rang throughout her home.

"Oh my god." Tilly groaned and threw a spoon at Kendall who was laughing his ass off.

"Shut-up Kendall."

"I'm so-sorry" The blond tripped over his words as he tried to calm down his breathing.

"Whatever. Let's just go and see if my father has killed your friends yet." Kendall straightened up and grabbed Tilly's hand and pulled her from the kitchen and into the living room, where his three best friends were cowering on a large sofa as six large men stood over them, yelling at them and threatening them.

"Daddy. Stop it right now." Tilly exclaimed in a strong, unwavering voice as she stood in between her new friends and family.

"And you five, knock it off and back off." She turned around and pointed a finger to the five older boys who immediately backed up.

"Now what is going on here?" She looked up at the dark skinned man who had at least two feet on her. Never backing down she stepped closer to the six very similar looking men, same dark black hair, except the eldest who had gray hair, same dark brown eyes and same dark skin tone.

The smallest Arlington stepped forward causing the six men to take a step back, they all knew not to mess with Tilly or their mother/wife when they get angry. She may be small but she was loud and feisty and fearless.

"Daddy I called you and mom and told y'all that I was having company over tonight."

"Well we didn't know" One of the older boys defended.

"I'm not talking to you J.J. and that still doesn't give you to scare the living daylights out of my friends. I know your little girl but damn it daddy I am twenty one years old, twenty two in less than five hours. I can protect myself."

"I know that Matilda, I just worry about you and no matter how old you are I will always scare the living daylights out of anyone that you bring home." The older man chuckled, quickly sending a threatening glare at the four stunned boys and then pulled his only daughter into a quick hug. He let go but tucked her into his side. He stood straight and introduced himself.

"I'm Jack Arlington and this is my wife Lacy. And these are my boy's J.J., Johnny, Colby, Amos and Mac" The older man chuckled lightly, pointing to each of his sons and shaking each of the four now confused boy's hands like nothing even happened.

The four friends came to stand in front of the slightly scary man, each introducing their own selves.

"I'm James."

"Logan"

"Carlos"

"And I'm Kendall, sir and ma'am".

"It's so good to finally meet the boys that littered my daughters wall every since she was sixteen. Kendall dear she was practically in love with you." The somewhat tall woman giggled as she brought each boy into a friendly hug.

"Oh dear god. Mother stop." Tilly groaned and hid her face in her hands as Lacy lightly smacked her brown hair daughters arm as everyone cracked.

Kendall watched on as his family interacted with Tilly's, noticing that Tilly looked nothing like her family, who all had dark, tall and well built features while she was light and petite.

He wanted to ask her why that was, but he didn't want to be rude. Then again he just wanted to know everything about her.

* * *

><p>After everything had settled down and the rest of Tilly's large family was introduced to the guys she excused herself and the guys and led them to the back porch, where she apologized profusely for her families behavior.<p>

"I really am sorry guys. My dad is super protective."

"It's ok. I think I would do the same thing if I had a daughter as pretty as you. All of us probably would." At this Tilly blushed and couldn't help but to walk up to Carlos and hug him.

"You're so sweet." They all laughed as Tilly leaned up and placed a kiss on Carlos' cheeks.

They stood there for a while looking over the rail, thankful that the snow had stopped, when Tilly's mother came out to tell them dinner would be done soon. They all sounded out with "Ok's".

"So your name is really Matilda Clementine?"

"Yes and I think it is an awesome name by the way. But go on, go ahead and laugh." And they did, it wasn't cruel or anything, but added to her name, it was just too adorable with the way her lips pouted and her aquamarine eyes got wide and she just shook her head as they continued to laugh.

They all felt bad about laughing, especially Kendall who had earlier jumped on Logan for making fun of her nick name, but her really couldn't help it.

"Are you done yet? Jackasses." She tried for it to come out harsh but she just ended up giggling.

"We're sorry."

"It really is an adorable name though." Kendall said, sporting his signature smirk, showing of his amazing dimples.

"Whatever." She said still adorably angry pouting.

"Are we forgiven?" They all simultaneously jutted out lips and started moving closer, ultimately pulling her into a gigantic group hug.

"Yea, I guess."

"Mati- what's going on here?" Mrs. Arlington walked how, stifling a laugh at seeing her daughter being squished by the four older guys.

"Group hug" Carlos shouted out merrily, earning laughter from everyone around him.

"Oh ok. Well dinner's ready." She said smiling at her daughter and her new friend. Elated that Tilly finally found some people that seem

"Alright" They separated and the five of them started walking back in. The five Arlington boys and their wives and assorted children and the elder Arlington's sat around the large table talking and laughing and warmly excepting the four formally stranded boys.

It was then as Tilly stood in the door and watched as her family and her new friends got along, she knew that were meant to be a part of her life.

It was also then when she realized how she felt for the blond, green eyed boy.

* * *

><p>Later that night after dinner was done, Christmas movies were watched and a single present for each person, even including James, Logan, Carlos and Kendall, thanks to Lacy, everyone was told that it was time for a Christmas light walk.<p>

It took almost half an hour for everyone to get ready and out the door. Once they were finally outside Kendall stayed back and pulled Tilly with him so they could walk together.

"Thankyou again for letting us stay."

"It's really not a problem, my family loves you guys."

"Still thank you."

"And I'm sorry that y'all didn't get to go home for Christmas. I hope your little sister is ok." After Kendall told Tilly about him always being home for Christmas, Tilly pulled him out of the room gave him a hug and insisted that he called her right then and there.

Katie was upset that Kendal or James, Carlos, and Logan couldn't be there, but she understood that there were some things that you just couldn't control.

"Thanks and I think she'll be fine. When I told my mom I wasn't coming home she was bummed but she told me that she was gonna go all out to make this Christmas special, so I know Katie will be taken care of. And plus we have our aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents there. She'll be fine. It just sucks this the first Christmas that we've ever been separated."

"Your mom sounds like a really sweet woman. And that must be hard being away from her for so long and then not being able to be home for the holidays."

"Yea it is, but sometimes you just have to take what life gives you."

"Yea but I think I would be crushed if I couldn't be able to be with my family. What about your dad?"

"Can we not talk about that?" Tilly agreed and didn't push any further. He didn't push with her so she was going to show him the same courtesy.

They walked in silence, enjoying the lights and each other's company. Kendall slowly inched closer and closer to Tilly, allowing their hands to gently bump. Kendall wanted to grab her hand but didn't know how she would react so he just settled for letting their hands bump every so often as they walked.

Kendall finally got up the courage to take her small hand in his after the seventh time she brushed her fingertips over his hand. She giggled and took her hand away from his, much to Kendall's dismay, but she quickly returned by wrapping an arm around his waist and snuggling into his chest.

Kendall wasn't really sure what to do, so he wrapped his arm around her small waist in return and pulled her as close as possible, smiling when she let out a sigh of content.

Kendall was confused, to say the least. What he feels for this girl is something that he never felt for anyone before. Of course there was and still is Jo, but he doesn't even know what's going on with that relationship. Ever since Jo got back from New Zealand a few years ago they've been on and off. Its worst than Camille and Logan, and they fight a lot.

He's still loves Jo but he doesn't think he's in love with her. He also doesn't know if it's worth the heartbreak and tears by getting back with her.

And honestly though he's been with the same girl since he was sixteen, sure when they were off again there were girls in between, mostly hook up's and one night stands, something he's not proud of, but there were one or two girls that lasted longer than a night, one even lasted four months, but then Jo came back from filming a movie in New York and then Kendall and the girl broke up and him and Jo were on again. That only lasted two months, because Kendall was on tour and Jo went back to New York and the guy she had met there.

Kendall didn't know what to do, he truly was over Jo. Granted she will always be his first of many first and one of his closest friend but it wasn't fair to the either of them to let a loveless relationship go on.

But he was also scared, Jo had been consent in his life for so long, even though lately they've been off more then on but Kendall had always gone back to Jo no matter what. But now he knows that's not what he wants anymore, he wants someone that will be there and stay with him no matter what, now he's not exactly looking for a lifelong commitment, but he is looking for something a little bit more steady and maybe a little more permanent then what he's had in the past. And he thinks Tilly might be that and that right there scares the shit out of him. He only met her less than ten hours ago but he's pretty damn sure that he's falling for her. Fast.

He doesn't even know how that happened, he doesn't know her and he doesn't even know if he'll ever see again and he doesn't even know how she feels for him.

Earlier this evening after dinner, he drug his three best friends to the room Logan was staying and told them what was going on.

James and Carlos pretty much told him to just go for it, that he only lives once and he should just take the risk and if she didn't feel the same there was the possibility of the two never seeing each other again.

Logan on the other hand told him that he should just leave it alone; he shouldn't risk her or him getting hurt.

And then Carlos hit him with a pillow and told him that life is full of risk and then James reminded him the many risks and chances the smart boy took with Camille and now they were very much together and happy.

Logan then told him to go with his heart and make the right choice.

So Kendall decided to not be scared and tell Tilly about his discoveries.

After they got back and almost everyone was gone Kendall decided that he was going to tell her.

He was about to walk into the kitchen when a strong tan hand pulled him to the side.

He looked up at the Native Americans' dark eyes and instantly became a bit scared.

"Son do you like my little girl?" Kendall became jealous the second he saw the protectiveness in Jacks eyes, as he did with he any person that had a caring and loving father that he so longed for. He quickly was shaken from his thoughts by the older man clearing his throat.

"Yes sir I do." The gray haired man just stared him down, making Kendall defend himself. "Sir I know I've only known your daughter for a half a day but I care for her a lot and I intend to let her know."

The man just looked at him and back to his smiling daughter who walked down the hall, carrying blankets for Kendall. He watched as his little girl smiled and blushed as Kendall sent his own smile towards her. In all the years he's been a father to Matilda he's never seen her as happy as she was tonight. For the first time in ten years Matilda eyes lit up and shown how bright and blue they were just like the first time he held her when she was a baby.

"I kind of figured, you look at her the way I look at my wife. Listen I'm pretty sure she feels the same way for you, but I don't want you or her getting hurt. And I know I can't stop her, once she decides that she wants something she'll do anything to get it, so the whole distance thing won't be a problem once you go back to L.A. and do your little dance and singing thing…" Kendall couldn't help but laugh as Jack did a little dance.

"But she's been hurt enough and I can't bare it if she were to be hurt again and honestly, god love her, but the girl is a heartbreaker. And I do like you, more than any other guy she's ever shown interest in, but I don't want the either of you to get hurt. "

"So you're saying that I can date your daughter if she wants."

"Yes I am. Just be careful"

"I will sir." The man smiled and shook Kendall's hand once more. Just as he was about to turn to leave he turned back to ask him one more question.

"Do you love her?" It was a strange and sudden question, but he fell in love with his wife fifteen minutes after her met her.

"I can't say that I do, at least not yet." Kendall smiled as he realized what he just said.

"Well like I said just be careful son."

"Will do." Kendall smiled and watched as Tilly said goodbye to her family.

He knows exactly how he feels about the girl and now he's not afraid to let her know.

* * *

><p><strong>review? please.<strong>


	3. three

**a/n. I am so sorry for how long it took for me to update this, but I was having the worst block ever with this chapter.**

**I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, it kind of went in a different direction than I had planned on and I just don't think I like it that much. thats why I changed the summary. but there are a few parts that I like and I got a little teary eyed when I wrote this so be warned.**

**but this is the last chapter :( and I hope y'all like it.**

**and I forgot to put this in the last two chapters.**

**I own nothing except Tilly Arlington and the plot.**

**also there's a super important note at the bottom to read _after_ ****so please do that.**

**sorry for any mistake I may have made. it's also very dialogue filled in this chapter.**

**enjoy.**

**and thankyou to everyone who reviewed or put this on there alert. : )**

* * *

><p>Tilly smiled as she laid assorted quilts and blankets out on her couch, she watched as her father pulled Kendall to the side, no doubt giving him 'the you better watch it' speech.<p>

It actually surprised her that he was doing this; with any other guy she's ever had any interest he's just told them flat out to leave her alone and if they valued their lives, they would never even think about coming around.

So to say that he and her brothers actually being somewhat nice to Kendall and James, Logan and Carlos was a big shock, would be an understatement.

"Matilda, where leaving darling." Said girl groaned and sent a snarl towards her mother but got up and sweetly placed a kiss on the taller woman's cheek.

"Why can't you just call me by my nickname?" Lacy laughed at her daughter's exasperated stature as she wrapped her arms around what she called her miracle.

"Because it's not your name" She knew it irritated her to no end, but it was adorable when she fussed over it.

"For the love of god. I'll see you tomorrow." She ran a tired hand through her hair.

"Ten a.m. and your brothers will be here around eleven and then dinner will be at five"

"I thought it was seven"

"Your dad has to work, sweets." Tilly groaned once again but smiled at the only nickname her parents will call her.

"Daddy you worked last Christmas."She hated it but she knew he had to go to work, not only does he love being a paramedic but it saved her life once ten Christmas' ago, so she can't really complain.

"I know sweets but I have to do what I have to do alright. I love you and you will see me tomorrow. Goodnight Matilda."

"I love you too daddy. Night mom, love you"

"Love you too sweets." The Arlington's kissed their daughter and said goodbye to the four boys who will become a big part of Matilda's life.

"Sorry once again for my crazies"

"Hey its ok, when our families get together for the holidays it's twice as hectic as it was tonight, the four of us practically thrive on it."

"Trust Carlos when he says that. Well I'm gonna head up to bed, it's almost one." Logan walked over and gave Tilly a friendly hug, silently laughing at the way Kendall's brow furrowed when he wrapped his arms around the small girls waist. He knew when from the way Kendall was looking at her at the diner something was going to happen between his oldest friend and his newest.

"Yea me too" James followed Logan's actions and hugged Tilly also noticing Kendall's discomfort, but deciding to get back at the blond for earlier he leaned down and placed a light kiss on Tilly's cheek, which had her giggling.

"Same here, I'm way too tired" Carlos decided to ignore James and Logan's antics and settled to squeeze her hand.

"Ok I put extra blankets on the beds for y'all and a towel and hand towel. Oh and is ten too early?"

The three rattled off their yes's and then their no's, said goodnight and made their way up to their respective rooms leaving Kendall and Tilly alone.

"Matilda" Kendall smirked.

"I hate you so much"

"I like to disagree" Tilly smacked her guest but smiled anyways.

"Thanks again though. I really appreciate it and sorry about my knuckleheads."

"It really isn't a problem Kendall. And they're fine, just dorks like my brothers."

The two twenty two years old unconsciously moved closer to each other.

Kendall stepped closer to Tilly and placed his hands gently on her waist. He decided that now was the time to tell her how he felt, praying with everything he had that she wouldn't slap him and force him and his brothers out in the dead of night. She leaned up and he leaned down and then there was James clearing his throat. Kendall made a mental reminder to kill him later.

"Sorry I just needed to talk to Kendall about something. I'll just talk to him later."

"No it's fine, I'm about to go to bed anyways."

"Goodnight again, James" The handsome one shyly smiled at Tilly and grimaced when he saw the threatening glare Kendall was sending him.

"Goodnight Kendall" Tilly smiled and leaned up and press her light pink lips to Kendall's cheek.

"Goodnight Matilda" Matilda just giggled, liking the way her name sounded on his lips.

"Have a goodnight you two." With that she turned on her heel and made her way up the stairs.

"This better be good or I will set all your hair care products on fire."

* * *

><p>'<em><strong>Ring. Ring. Ring'<strong>_

Kendall groaned as the sound of his phone woke him from his sleep. Without looking he answered it and placed the phone next to his ear.

"Whoever you are you do know its two o'clock here?"

"Kendall it's Jo." He quickly sat up, not caring about the dizzy feeling that came along with it.

"Jo why aren't you asleep its midnight there, is everything ok?" Kendall heard rustling of sheets, a door open and then a grumpy Carlos yell out for him to be quiet.

"Yea I just need to talk to you."

"Ok hold on." He grabbed his hoodie, slipped it over his bare chest and went out to the porch so he wouldn't disturb anyone else. He sat down on the porch swing mentally preparing himself for the conversation that was about to befall.

"What's up?"

"Well I was thinking about us"

"What about us Jo"

"I think we should get back together."

"Jo. I really don't think that's a good idea"

"Kendall I love you and I know you love me and I'm done filming so I'll be home more often and you're not touring and we can work around your schedule…"

"Jo I do love you"

"And I love you…"

"What about Matt or Miles or whatever his name is"

"Mason, his name was Mason and we broke up."

"So you broke up with him and now you want me back"

"It's not like that Kendall"

"Then what is it like Jo?"

"We wanted to different things"

"And as I recall that's what broke us up."

"I was thinking about that"

"Really?"

"Yea maybe we can talk about the thing marriage again"

"Talk about it and actually letting it happen or talking about it and letting it be a place holder."

"Kendall…"

"No Jo, you knew what I wanted and you didn't want the same so you went against my wishes and took that job anyways and met a new guy"

"Like you haven't been dating"

"Ever since you left, no I haven't. Yea I've been with a few girls but nothing like what we had ever."

"What does that mean?"

"Jo I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore"

"What are you saying?"

"You know what I'm saying Jo. I think we should stop this on-off shit all together"

"But Kendall…"

"We need to move on"

"Who is she?" Jo asked, anger lace her voice.

"You can't be mad Jo, every time we breakup you start seeing someone else, you can't make up your mine, but now I can and yea maybe there is someone else, but that's not the only reason that this needs to happen, this isn't healthy."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Move on, find someone who can be what you need."

"Kendall…"

"I love you Jo, I always will just not how you want me, just like you don't love me the way I need it."

"I do love you that way."

"No you don't. I love you Jo. Merry Christmas" With that he hung up, officially ending the only real relationship he's ever had.

It's been over for a while but now it's really over, no going back and now it's time to move on.

Kendall sat outside; feeling like a weight had been lifted off of him. He doesn't regret his relationship with Jo; he actually takes it as a learning experience. He learned how to love a woman both physically and emotionally, how to be completely selfless and just be there and give with everything he has.

"Hi" A warm small voice pulled him out of thoughts and he smiled as he realized who it was.

"Hey, did I wake you?" Kendall looked up at the girl in front of him dressed in black leggings and an oversized pink sweater, her short hair pulled up into a cute little bun.

"No. Sometimes I like to come out here look over at the mountains and watch the trains."

"It really is beautiful."

"I know right. I saw you out here so I brought you some cocoa." She sat down two mugs of steaming hot cocoa and pulled her quilt tighter around her.

"Thanks. Do you want to sit?"

"Yea- oh my god Kendall why are you out here barefooted and in shorts? You must be freezing, let me go get you a blanket."

"No just come here." He leaned forward, grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him.

Without a second thought she sat down in his lap, leaning her side against his chest and laying her head down on his strong shoulder. Kendall in turn pulled her as close as possible just as he did earlier that evening, grabbed one small hand in his and let his other settled timidly underneath her sweater on, rubbing soft circles on her hip.

"Is this ok?" He asked, taking a chance and lightly pressing his lips to her temple.

"It's perfect" She smiled and pulled the blanket around the two off them.

"Could you not sleep, were you warm enough?"

"No everything's fine, I just got a call from Jo."

"Oh is he a friend."

"Jo, she's my ex"

"Oh" She didn't really know why suddenly her heart felt like it just been impaled by a burning stick, Kendall and her weren't together, but how she wishes they were.

Kendall saw how she tensed at those words so he leaned down and gently kissed her temple.

"We're over, we have been for awhile." Tilly relaxed at that, her feeling whole again she leaned into him.

"Is everything ok with James"

"Yea he's just having girl problems."

"Well I hope it all works out for him"

As she sat there tightly wrapped in his arms she thought about how right it feels, even if it was for tonight, it's all she ever needed.

They sat there looking up at the stars, Tilly picked out patterns in the stars as Kendall made up stories to go along with them.

After they got bored with that, they started talking about everything, from James, Logan and Carlos to life and general and family, and Kendall was comfortable enough to bring up Jo and then they somehow got on the subject Kendall's dad, who walked out on his family ten years ago on Christmas Eve.

"It just hurts, still. He was my best friend, even though I had James, Logan and Carlos, my dad was the only person I told everything to. But what I don't really get is what the hell happened. To me they had the perfect marriage but one night they had one of the worst fights I've ever seen, all I remember was yelling and screaming from my mom and my dad just stood there and took it, like he knew he deserved every single thing that she yelled or threw at him. I think that was the only time I've ever seen that man cry. To this day my mom won't tell me what it was about. I thought everything was over then, I had literally prepared myself for my dad not to be there in the morning, but they made up the next day and it was like everything was back to the way it was. And then on the night of Christmas Eve he got a text message, packed everything he had, left the rest to my mom and just left. No explanations or anything."

"I'm really sorry, that must have been hard on you, being so young and having to take care of your mom and sister."

"It's ok, I rather him be gone instead of faking it and I'm used to him not being there now. That's why I was so pissed earlier, before my dad left he would take Katie out every Christmas Eve morning, buy her breakfast and then they would go pick out the perfect tree and then one new perfect ornament and he would let her pick out one present, that year it was a puppy, they would spend the whole day together just them two and I was never really jealous because he started doing it right after she was born and I had my own thing with my mom anyways and even though this year she's older it would be the first time in sixteen years that she didn't get to do it. She told me that mom took her but it wasn't the same. And it's not just that, I tried so hard for the last ten years to keep one thing normal for my family ever since he left."

"Katie's really lucky to have a brother like you."

"It's gonna sound cheesy but I'm pretty sure I'm the lucky one."

"That's not cheesy that's sweet Kendall."

"Is it strange that I still love him?"

"No, he's your dad Kendall; no matter where he is he'll always be a part of you."

Tilly leaned up and kissed the side of his neck, affection being her only intention. Before Kendall could react she pulled back and tucked her head back in the crook of his neck.

He pulled her closer to him, ignoring the thousands of questions running through his brain at the moment. They sat there for a while longer both enjoying each other.

Kendall was in love with the feeling he got from just holding Tilly as the late night air pushed the swing, he hasn't had it in so long and the who's in his arms just makes it hundred times better.

Tilly smiled as she let Kendall hold her, happy with herself that she can trust someone after so many years, this right here was what she needed.

Out of nowhere Kendall began singing the same lullaby to Tilly that his mother used to sing to him and Katie when they couldn't sleep.

'_**The other nite, dear,  
>As I lay sleeping<br>I dreamed I held you in my arms.  
>When I awoke, dear,<br>I was mistaken  
>And I hung my head and cried.'<strong>_

Tilly squirmed in his arms as the memory of the last time her mother sang her that song.

"My mother used to sing that to me"

"When you were younger?"

"No, whenever I needed it or when I couldn't sleep?"

"Why doesn't she anymore?"

"She's dead." It came out harsher than she intended, but she can't really be blamed.

"What?" Kendall pulled his head back and looked down at Tilly, thinking that he may have misheard her.

"I met your parents-"

"Jack and Lacy adopted me when I was twelve."

"Why?"

"My parents and Jack and Lacy all grew up together here, they did everything together, until my parents and I moved to Castlerock when I was eight. Every Christmas we would come back to spend with our family. My mom grew up in this house, after she moved out, her parents stayed but once they passed, it just sat here and she was going to sell it but my dad talked her into keeping it and he restored it and they were going to sell it then but then I was born and I grew up here, after we moved they decided to keep it and let me decide what I wanted to with it. But the last time we all came up here instead of leaving on the day I got out of school we left the day before Christmas Eve. My dad drove all sixteen hours with only a little break so we could make it in time for Christmas Eve dinner. By then my dad had been a cop for almost fifteen years, so he'd put away some pretty messed up people in his career and when some of those people got out they had grudges and would do anything to him back, no matter if that involved taking his family to."

"What happened?"

"When we were driving back here, it was just like it was tonight, sleeting and way too windy. This guy who had just gotten released from jail was hiding behind this tree right behind next to the train tracts and with the weather and how dark it was my dad never saw his truck coming at us. It smashed right into us, pushing us onto the tracks, my mom died on impact and I thought my dad had died to. This horrible person…he yanked my father's door opened and after he checked to see if my parents were dead he came after me…"

"You don't have to tell me."

"I want to"

"Ok"

"He came after me and he got so close, his hands were up my shirt and his lips were on my neck, he was so close… but then my father was on top of him and a gunshot went off. My dad shot him and the bullet went through him and then hit me in my arm, it hurt so badly. But I knew my dad had to do it. The man crawled out of the car and ran off like the little bitch he was, my dad tried to move the car off the tracks but it wasn't happening...the horn was so loud Kendall, sometimes I can still hear it, when it's quiet and nothing else is making a noise, that's all I can hear…I think my dad knew that somehow he knew he was going to die that night, I remember him telling me that all I had to do was live and be everything he and my mother taught me to be and his life would have been worth something...he pulled me over the seat and told me how much he loved me that I was him and my mom's everything, he was dying and told me forgive that man for everything he's ever did to us and let this not destroy me. The next thing I knew I was laying on the ground bleeding, surrounded by cops and paramedics and firefighters and then Jack was right next to me, you could see the fire from the explosion for miles." The memory of that night came back to her at full force. The thing that would plague her for the rest of her life, she remembers everything like it just happened. The accident, her being thrown from car, one of the strongest men she knows crying like a small child over a lost brother and best friend.

Kendall was stunned; he wiped away the tears that were flowing steadily down her cheeks. It all made more since to him now, why she didn't look anything like any of the other Arlington's or why she flinched every time a horn sounded, the scars on her hip and back that he was currently tracing.

"I wish you never had to go through that"

"Me to, but sometimes you just have to take what life gives you, and it sucks but there's nothing we can do to change it."

"Sometimes I wish I could though. But I don't know if it would be worth it."

"I don't think it would be, like you wouldn't have all those stories you, James, Logan and Carlos told me about your childhood. And Katie she, when I talked to her earlier, Kendall she's amazing and you did that."

"You're pretty amazing, you know that right?" He would never admit it to anyone, even though his three closest did no, Kendall missed his father and sometimes he would just pray for him to come back and no matter what his friends would say he never gave up that hope for him to come back, even though he knew it wasn't likely.

"I try. I don't think I would change a thing. I have my memories and photographs and that's what's important."

"Is that why you kept the house?"

"Yea so many happy, loving things happened here, after the accident I decided that I would sell it when I turned eighteen because it was Jack and Lacy's until I became of age. But I just couldn't, I wouldn't get rid of this for the world."

"I know how you feel, I still have my dad's old high school jersey, and as I think about it I don't think I would change anything either, but it's hard."

"I know but I have amazing parents and five brothers who love me, albeit crazy."

"They really would do anything for you"

"Like you wouldn't for Katie and so would James, Logan and Carlos"

"Oh we would and she knows it, she's all our little sister, we're protective over her."

"My brothers are just as protective if not more, boys can be assholes"

"Yea, but not all of them" Kendall smiled cheekily at the brunette in his lap.

"I hope not." Honestly Tilly has been waiting for this moment the second she decided that she was going to offer the four boys to come home with her. She leaned up just as he leaned down and gently attaching her lips to his surprisingly soft ones.

She let all the fear she had held in for so many years out and let him taking full control, gasping softly when he slipped his tongue into her mouth, tracing every bump and curve. The kiss was passionate but she knew that he wouldn't try anything.

Tilly always wanted this, the comfort of someone just being with her, not wanting any one thing. Not caring how damaged she is. Boys don't want to deal with her because of the nightmares or how it's hard for her to trust. And the only boy that did actually want be with her and got her to trust him, ended up just using her and then left her with broken promises and a broken heart.

She hasn't dated anyone since that moment five years ago. It was also then that she stopped trusting.

She didn't understand why she trusted, Kendall and Logan and James and Carlos, maybe it's because she knew they wouldn't take advantage of her or hurt her.

Maybe it's because she hasn't had a good thing come into her life in so long and she wants that.

Maybe it's because somehow, right in this moment and for the rest of time, she can see herself with Kendall.

But then there's that little voice telling her not to rush into anything, she shouldn't fall for a boy who may not like her, a boy who could be gone tomorrow.

She ignores that voice because she's pretty sure she already fallen and she's already given up and lost to damn much to let him or them slip through her hands and no matter how selfish that is, she doesn't care, because she wants be selfish, she thinks she's earned to be selfish for once.

By the time they pull back for air, Tilly's has one leg over Kendall's lap and the other around his waist, one hand firmly on his shoulder and the other securely around his neck, he's holding her tight against him, as he's afraid to lose her, he never wants to let her go, he knows that she needs him just as much as he needs her.

But she's still scared, she's so afraid that she'll get hurt again.

"Please don't let me get hurt."

"I promise you, I won't dare let anything hurt you" He sealed that promise with a kiss to her hand.

"Please let me trust you."

"You can." He kissed her, praying that he could keep that promise.

He knows not to push her, he's not ready for something like that with someone else just yet.

He looks into her turquoise eyes and knows that she feels the same.

He thinks it crazy that he already feels like he wants to be with her forever. Even after what he learned about her, he wouldn't dare let her go.

He decides at that moment there was nothing that could stop whatever was happening between the two of them. He doesn't care that she has some issues that some people couldn't deal with, but she's worth it, she's worth everything.

Without saying anything they both knew that they there was nothing, not even eight hundred thirty six point fifty seven miles, could tear them apart.

After one more kiss Tilly returned to her original position, Kendall wrapped his arms around her and started to sing once again, hoping that it would calm the rest of her frazzled nerves.

'_**The other nite, dear,  
>As I lay sleeping<br>I dreamed I held you in my arms.  
>When I awoke, dear,<br>I was mistaken  
>And I hung my head and cried.'<strong>_

Half an hour later Kendall was carrying his love into her room and laying her into her bed and safely tucking her under her large purple quilt.

Just as he was getting ready to leave, a lazy tug at his wrist had him turning back around.

Tilly wasn't ready to let him go just yet, so she linked her fingers with his and pulled him into her bed. He lay down without any qualms, pulling her to him so they were chest to chest. His arms wrapped around her, where he decided that they belong, as she snuggled her head into the crook of his neck.

For once in ten years, she had no problem falling asleep.

Kendall watched as she drifted off to sleep, it was the best thing in the world.

"Matilda Clementine, I'm pretty damn sure I'm in love with you." He said to the dark, not quite ready to say it out loud.

He still wishes that he could've been home with his family but he now knows he wouldn't change a thing, not if it meant not meeting Tilly.

* * *

><p><em><strong>an. so this is the end. **_

_**actually it's not, there will be a companion/sequel to this. **_

_**that's actually how this story started but I needed to do this little ditty first.**_

**_it will be called _to infinity and beyond _ it's gonna take place either three weeks, four months or six months after where I ended this, I just can't decide _**

**_and I don't know when that will be up, maybe the end of this week or the start of next. but it will be soon._**

**_review? please_**


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